Many parents should wonder what to do when the baby fell down. Do I need to hurry up and hold up the baby? Or should I ignore the fell down? Or something else? Before sharing what to do when the baby fell down, let’s first figure out why the baby cry after falling down.

baby crying when he falls down

Why the baby cry after falling down?

Making cry decisions based on “social reference”

How to understand social reference? That means “observation”. The baby has evolved this “skill” when they are 8 or 9 months, is it much earlier than you think?From this age, when children encounter difficult problems that they cannot handle, they will decide what to do depending on the expressions, emotionsand behaviors of the people around them.

When Mom and Dad began to worry inexplicably, the baby did not know what happened. One of the preferred solutions at this time is social reference.The babies will refer to the reactions of others around them, especially their parents, and then choose their own “matching” reactions.When Mom and Dad appear to be worriedandanxious, the baby will cry before thinking.

Relying on the attribution ability of “Mind Theory”

To put it bluntly, it is the intention of “speculating” adults. That is the ability to analyze what others want and expect.The baby will think according to the behavior of the adult:The reason why my mother did this is because she is expecting my (baby) reaction.

There is a little test that the father pretended to knock the baby’s head and immediately held the baby’s head and became worried. The baby saw the father’s reaction and began to cry. When the adult reacts unexpectedly, the baby will quickly assess what the intention of the adult is. Children of different ages will naturally make different assessments and give different responses.

Babies have 100% trust in their parents, they will understand this behavior of adults as:It must because I knocked it over, so my father was so nervous. It’s just that I haven’t felt it yet. cry! I hurt!

For elder babies, their minds gradually mature, and they won’t cry anymore in the face of a sudden unexpected reaction from their parents, because they know:My dad must do this because he wants to tease me and make me cry. Naive! Just ignore him!

Long-term development of “operating conditioned reflex”

The so-called “operating conditioned reflex” is to increase the possibility of certain behaviors of animals and humans through positive or negative reinforcement to obtain the desired result.The child bumped and began to cry. Mother noticed and appeased while worrying. As a kind of reinforcement, these loving cares effectively cater to the physical and mental needs of children. Over time, the baby will gradually establish a close connection and circulation in the heart of them:Falling – mother worried – mother caring and hugging – baby crying / baby nervous.

This connection has caused a lot of interesting scenes in the family: the baby did not cry after falling down, crawled to the tears, walked to the mother, and suddenly sat down and howled. The baby knows clearly that crying cannot relieve the pain and solve the problem, but it can get the mother’s attention!

What should parents do if the baby fell down?

Based on the previous three points, it is not difficult to find that baby’s behavior and attitudes are largely shaped by feedback from parents’ daily lives. If the baby really fell down and wrestled, in order to ensure that there is no injury or excessive shock, parents just need to maintain the following two basic principles!


The first thing parents should do is to observe in time and let the baby know that “Mom and Dad see you falling, and we will stop things from getting out of control”.

Many young parents, after reading all kinds of parenting articles, understand that if a child falls, don’t help it immediately. But pleasedo not deliberately pretend not to see in order to exercise the child.

If you pretend not to see it, you may put your baby into a very unsafe state. The baby will find a way to “re-establish the connection”, such as through more collapsed crying. If there is no effect for a long time, then the baby will give up and form an excessively strong, indifferent character-refuse to help others, and do not take the initiative to help others. The baby fell and bumped his head. Mom and Dad can ask “How are you doing?”

Similar words are to show two attitudes:

Falling down is normal, I will not be angry or blamed for it. Falling down is not terrible, if comfort and care are needed, I am here.

Moderate feedback

A so-called “moderate” basic evaluation standard is whether parents have “synchronized interaction” with their children in this situation.In other words, parents should keep their emotions in line with their babies. But many times, parents often can’t do it.

Sometimes, after the baby fell, he didn’t have pain or cry. But the adult’s excessive attention and intervention came first, so the baby was crying. This will make the baby feel very confused, but it is not conducive to effectively cultivate the baby’s sense of security and safety awareness.

Sometimes, if parents emphasize anger “how did you knock again!”, or too much panic “Let me see me! Oops, what can I do after this knockdown!”The baby may be overly cautious and afraid to participate in some challenging interactions.

Don’t worry when baby fell down

As the child grows up, it will inevitably bump and bump. As long as it is not a safety accident, a long-term and good feedback from mom and dad can fill the child’s sense of security. On the contrary, it is entirely possible to cause a bigger problem than bumping itself.

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